What I feel, I do. Most of the times.

My mind goes blank everytime I click on the tittle part. Like what the hell do I write without being too fat, preppy, perky, mainstream or crap like that. So I guess weird tittles are fine. DEAL WITH IT. <--My brother's favourite punch line. So today's post is going to be on the quirkier side too.

Dear empty white space, 


How are you? I hope your white space hasn't become whiter or whiter. I like you the same old white empty space. I'm fine here. It's pretty sunny. And I hope that secret trip my parents have been planning is true. I really do hope so.


  Today is beautiful. I felt alive. I felt...not fat. I felt great. Like I can breathe the dusty air without having to worry about my double chin. I can laugh without worrying about my chin or my stomach expanding or not. 


  I felt happy.


  I want this to go on forever empty white space. I actually have the right mood and mind to practice my Maths. But of course, I'd like to talk to you first empty white space. Today's practices have been peaceful. Although my leader was very pissed off, but me being tired equals to a happy girl.


  I didn't do too good on my runs today though. I was slow. I didn't stop but I was slow. My dog still hates me and so do my whole class. Thankfully there are a few good people there that I can comfortably talk without judgement. Though critique is accepted. When logical and socially accepted. Either ways,


  it was a good day.


  Until, I let myself down with my weak willpower to resist food. I ate three small pieces of chicken popcorn. I was disappointed. I was upset on how easily I thought I could 'reason' out my diet. Just because Aunt Red is visiting and some hormone crap told me that it is ok to eat. 


  So I ate.


  And I felt sick the whole day. Bad mistake. And even after that, when I came home after practices, I had a bowl of soup and 5 thin slices of fried potato, a teaspoon of curry, and a bit of pork. It was filling. Which is bad. I'm NOT supposed to be full. I'm suppose to be 'enough'.


  I'm worried white empty space. Firstly, I'm not on good terms with my best friend and now, myself wants to pick a fight with me while I just stand there and let them quarrel. 


  What shall I ever do?


  It's weird how selfish I am though. There are many other poor kids with even bigger problems, yet, they're living life with that term, 'YOLO'. I here create a big fuss. A storm in a teacup. 


  Will you help me white empty space? Will you help me go through my silliness? My foolishness? To teach me the correct ways. I should be punished. I'm sorry in advance. But it's great to know that you'd actually acknowledge me. I've got to do Maths empty white space. So long.

Yours for never.

...............