It doesn't work out.
Usually I'll be all jealous and angry at her. The mere fact that she complains indirectly that she isn't popular enough, let's say, Tumblr followers or friends. Well guess what, I'm alone. Al I've got is you and my family. People don't like me. Why again?
Because I am le Big Fat Girl.
People tell me that being fat is ok and they ENCOURAGE me to be fat.
I think you're being like that so you guys can be all thin and I'll be the only outcast. My emotions cannot be written or typed out. It's too irregular. I can't fit it all in to any type of letter.
Do you know how...stupid it is that I advice my friends to NEVER ever think about suicide. And all along, I've been thinking about it but I'm always afraid to try it. It is a very VERY silly thing. I promised myself never to commit suicide. I have policies. But being the normal human I am, hypocriticsm is always never near from my 'OUT' part of my brain. If you get what I mean.
I feel sorry. I feel very apologetic that to have a friend like me, it's so.... embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. It's humiliating YET....they bear with it. HOW? What is the point? I don't get it. I know it's obviously NOT out of friendship. I don't deserve one. I need suggestions. I want to get out of here. Geez.
When she goes online, when my Twitter timeline is filled with her glamorous DP that everybody loves so much, I think to myself.
"Maybe, it's time you back off. People like you don't deserve a friend like her. Won't you find it weird when A some nerd freak is friends with such a photogenic hipster like her? Think about it. There are more beautiful girls that deserves her friendship. So think about it thoroughly."
I wish. That there was somebody that could be....no. There isn't anybod. God made His first mistake. I'm the one. I do not deserve any kind of kindness. I just....
I sound very pathetic don't I? Great. Great.
Dear you, just think of me as a friend and not a blog walker. I feel exactly the same way as you. My best friend is the smartest girl in my school and She's as pretty as ever. There was one time when I asked her this question. "why would you want to be my friend? I'm so fat." Guess what she answered me... She said, "I love you for who you are. NOT what you are. I don't see you by the size. I see you by the HEART." My dear, I may not be as close to you but I know you. I LOVE you for who you are. WE LOVE YOU for who you are. If you're not what you are today, there wouldn't be a you today. And since I'm talking about this, I would like to say something to my friend that may think exactly like you. "JERICA LOI, I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SIZE. ALL OF US THINK THE SAME WAY. MY DEAR, THINK ABOUT IT." That's all I wanna say. Take care and please PLEASE don't do farny stuff... Love you <3 I'm here for you. whoever you are...
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